You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sorry about my life...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
