He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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