it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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