no, he came in my armpit
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
