Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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