nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
