I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
