ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
