K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
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Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
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Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We're too hungover to prance.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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