if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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