HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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