Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
