i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
