Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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