True but thats because hes a fetus.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
