I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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