they need to just BURY HIM!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
