You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
