There is no way he is gay with that hair.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You ate ashes out of my bong
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
