You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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