I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
