drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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