don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
