God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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