did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize