I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
