i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
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It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize