I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
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Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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