I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
