whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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