Don't you send me to vm
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
