That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Boobs speak an international language.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
