All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
