OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
