hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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