She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.