Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.