i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize