you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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