Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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