Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
