if i can run in heels then i can drive
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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