my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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