i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
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