She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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