Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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