Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
