Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
