whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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