I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I party with great urgency now.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
