I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
