Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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