Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
