i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My vagina is very pro this idea
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
