He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
