i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
