The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
is that a dick in a sweater?
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