I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
