I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
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I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
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Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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