I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
