Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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