We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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