I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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