it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
