You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
