just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
