Michael Bay diarrhea
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
