come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
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I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
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He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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